Hello! It has been a long time oh my, I apologize for my inactivity. The good news is, since my last blog, life has changed so much for me and I am in a much better place mentally now. I would want to talk more about it but later, alright? Since this post this time is a special one about the Summer School that I have just finished participating in about a week ago, precisely on 31 July until 13 August 2023, at Asia-Europe Institute, Universiti Malaya, Malaysia. Let's get into it!
- Before Summer School
I was overthinking about literally everything. From roommate to making friends, I was feeling quite scared of it all because this Summer School was literally my first time ever going abroad and it was also on my own (well, not technically since I was with three of my other friends, but still..). Plus, my university, Universitas Islam Indonesia, is in the same city as the one I am living in since I was a kid so I never knew what it feels like to be living alone without my parents. I even felt lazy to pack, a few days before the departure, since I tend to procrastinate when I feel stressed about something. Skipping forward, on the day we were departing, I was accompanied by both of my parents and it was a great help. I would have felt afraid to go anywhere if it was not because of them.
- During Summer School
I finally arrived in Malaysia! I was so excited because it was also my first time ever in an airplane. I was not scared during the flight, it was actually an exciting experience. My friend, Lu'ay, held my hand during the trip because my friends knew it was my first time. Anyway, we then arrived at Kuala Lumpur International Airport (KLIA) Terminal 2 and we waited for more than five hours, can you imagine! Oh my God. From what I heard, there was a miscommunication with the bus driver hence why the bus was coming late and at that time I did not have an Internet connection because I did not quite know yet how to completely set up my roaming mobile data (although the next day, it worked). We were all very exhausted and nagging and walked around with no clear direction. All we needed was a warm shower! Anyway, after that, we eventually arrived at our hotel, Greystone Centrestage. At first, we thought no one was there to welcome us but then the Liaison Officers came to give each of us room keys and then we finally had a rest after a long day.
The next day was a welcoming ceremony by the professors, officials, and staff of AEI. We also took pictures together and each group's (at least mine did). We still did not know each other that much obviously at that time so that was it. Some days passed by, filled with boring lectures and thank God, activities outside of the classroom where we visited various destinations, such as Batu Caves, Malacca, we also did kayaking, a cruise, went to museums, mosques, government buildings, historical places, souvenir places, etc. Aaand, this is where it gets interesting, at least to me. Disclaimer, I am going to talk about it quite a lot in the next paragraph. So... I developed a crush on someone! If you were in the Summer School and are reading this right now, I promise, you will never know who it is. No one does, even the person themselves (I hope so..). You will never guess it right, I guarantee that!
So, since I realized I had feelings for this person, nothing was ever the same anymore. I was trying to dress up in my best attire every day only for them. I became picky with my choice of clothing. In my mind, I thought I had to look great in their eyes and I wanted them to notice me. It sounds so silly, I know, and I am not going to give a lot of clues because I am anticipating if the person will read this or not. I do not want them to immediately know that it is them. Anyway back to the story, every time we (all of us) go somewhere, I always stare at them with puppy eyes, LOL. Like, a puppy in love? Every time they do not look at me, I stare. There were quite a few times when we both accidentally locked eyes and I felt so embarrassed every time. I immediately always end up looking away. I was like, "Oh my God, why are they also looking at me *cries inside*" There was this one night, on Day 3, where I dreamt about them and it turned out to be reality. Very odd. So, at that time, I was already feeling so tired and I remember I went to bed at 12 a.m. right after chatting with Wenjing, one of my friends I made during the Summer School. You know, when I feel tired, I tend to end up dreaming. In that dream, I dreamt about them following me on Instagram. For some reason, I woke up at 2 a.m. and my gut was telling me to check Instagram and it was true, oh my God! I woke up still feeling half asleep and was like, "What??? How...???" when I saw '*insert my crush’s username* started following you' in my notifications. They also liked one of my stories, so they definitely clicked on my stories perhaps while following. It was so weird, right? Even until this day, I still have no idea how that could be possible. I thought, dreams were not supposed to be reality but that dream was the literal reason I woke up that night and checked Instagram. Like, it was telling me to check! I have never had that kind of dream in my life before, seriously. But, enough with all the confusion, I of course followed them back but their Instagram is private so it ended up as a follow request, which they accepted in the morning the next day. You might be wondering how I knew it was their account? It's because I previously had searched it so I already knew, hehe. Even though, I did not send a follow request. Ugh, I want to mention more about them but sadly I won't since I do not wish to disclose any more details.
- After Summer School
My apologies, most of the parts were me mentioning stuff about my crush, but they really were the reason why the Summer School was very enjoyable for me personally. They were the reason I woke up early every day in the morning. But anyway, everything ended up going pretty well and I am very glad it did. I am quite an awkward and introverted person so I tend to overthink a lot about stuff, even the simplest ones, before doing something because that is just how I am. From the program, I made a lot of friends from different countries and until now, we still update each other about our lives on Instagram. Hence why, I am trying to be more active on there. Sometimes, I watch their stories just because I am curious. Before, I hardly opened Instagram because there was nothing that exciting to see. I never opened stories, never posted, and hardly even logged in (my last post was in 2020, so sorry..). But now, since I am mutuals with my crush, I always log in there, hehe. Every time I open Instagram now, the only thing I am excited to see is content from my crush, LOL. Although, unfortunately, they do not post much - just like me, sad. But sometimes I post stories and they watch it! Anyway, overall, I loved the Summer School!
Malaysia, you will always have a piece of my heart <3
